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“Nice dress Ryan.” Kelly has invited the entire branch to her Indian community Diwali (aka “Hindu Halloween) celebration. Just like all the other episodes dealing with ethnicity, Michael goes over-the-top in his need to recognize racial differences, calling Kelly one of his “most ethnic” employees. It’s pretty funny that Michael goes out of his way to create special occasions out of very ordinary situations (remember when he mentions “05-05-05″ party that happens every billion years?).

The first part of the episode is very reminiscent of “Diversity Day.” We hear a few black jokes directed at Stanley:

Michael: You know what, Stanley? Come Kwanzaa time, I have got you covered, baby.
Stanley: I don’t celebrate Kwanzaa.
Michael: Wha-really? You should. It’s fun.

I’d like to know where Michael got all of his Indian posters for his “Indian Culture Seminar.” Maybe he got Dwight to go to a ethnic supermarket or something. And I loved Michael’s slide show of famous Indians: Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar, Apu, M. Night Shyamalan, and Michael kissing Carol (wait, that doesn’t sound very Indian). So what do we learn from Michael’s seminar? Three things: There are billions of people just like Kelly, there are at least three famous Indians, and Diwali is just like the Lord of the Rings.

Is it just me or does Andy look like he’s doing a move in the Thriller music video? That’s all I have to say about the Stamford drunkards.

I found Kelly’s sisters really funny for some reason. There’s something hilarious about little kids making fun of a full grown man who has no control over anything in his life (both at Dunder Mifflin and with Kelly). I do like how he is saving his money to travel and to buy an Xbox. It’d better be an Xbox 360 or he would have to save up that much. Michael spitting up all the Indian food all the time and pretending that it was spicy was funny too.

This episode had elements of The Cosby Show just like the previous episode, “Grief Counseling.” Remember when Theo gives brain teasers to Vanessa and Rudy and makes them do chores for him? Here, Dwight gives brain teasers to Ryan. Unfortunately, Ryan seems to have heard them and knows the answers as well as Dwight does. Dwight’s “Plan Voodoo” = failure (Survivor reference!).

It seems that Ryan has been at Dunder Mifflin for a year and has yet to make a sale as a salesman. This leads me to believe that he has not done anything as a temp. To make his first sale, he seeks the advice of Dwight, who seeks to recruit Ryan into the Dwight Army of Champions.

Dwight, for some reason, takes Ryan to the Schrute family beet farm to see Cousin Mose and to “vanquish fear!” Tasks at the farm include stealing a beet seed from Dwight’s hand, planting said beet seed in “bull cr*p” (just as Dwight plants his seed in Ryan…lal), answering questions like “what is the Dharma Initiative,” wrestling Mose to the ground, and getting into a coffin that is supposed to be filled with animals. This must be why Dwight is the best midsize paper salesman in the Northeast?

While Michael waits in line for what seems to be over an hour, Pam is forced to take notes on what Michael is doing all day for corprate to analyze. I’m sure it wouldn’t take much analysis to find out that Michael is a complete idiot.

Following Ryan’s eventual failure at the his first sale, Dwight and Ryan seem to be friends (or friend-like) after Dwight reveals that he just wanted to be friends with him, after failing with Jim. I’m sure Ryan still thinks Dwight is a nut.

Dwight: Just think, that temp agency could have sent you anywhere.
Ryan: I think about that all the time.

The beginning of the show (the part before theme song that has nothing to do with the episode’s storyline) was probably the funniest part of the show. Michael does the joke where it looks like you’re going down the stairs when you’re actually slowly crouching down. Yes, very old. But Dwight, like always, is easily amused and cracks up like a huge nerd.

So Ed Truck has died. You may remember him from “The Carpet” (2×14) where Michael asks Ed what to do about the “package” left in the office. Michael really didn’t seem to like him back then but the death of a regional manager makes Michael realize that he could die. At first, he thinks it was just old age but Creed clarifies this by letting he and Dwight know that Ed Truck was decapetated by a truck (haha!…ha).

One of the best lines of the show: “Wham! His capa is detated from his head!” Of course, since not many people in the office ever knew Ed Truck, Michael is very disappointed. One of his suggestions to remember Ed Truck is to make a life-size (make that “two-thirds” in case we need to kill it after we lose control of it) statue (make that “robot” since it would have light-up eyes and moving arms) with a six-foot extension cord in case it comes after us. It seems that he realizes that this is probably how everyone would react if he had died instead of Ed Truck. Even Dwight goes to his phone instead of consoling Michael…though later he seems very concerned when Michael learns of a dead bird in front of the building. I will get to that in a bit.

In Stamford, Karen searches for Herr’s chips before starting her work. Jim helps her by calling the Herr’s tater chip factories and distributors. What’s weird is that it’s pretty obvious that there are Herr’s chips in the vending machine that Karen is looking at. The whole second row (white, green, brown, gold) are Herr’s but they have been re-branded as “Hertz” chips. In case you haven’t heard of the Herr’s brand, it may be because it is regional and only found on the East coast.

Michael holds a grief counseling session (or game since it involves a ball) in the meeting room for people to discuss loved ones who have died. Michael talks about Ed Truck. Dwight talks about his “resorbed” twin when he was a fetus that now gives him the strength of a grown man and a little baby. Pam talks about her aunt who happens to have the same story as Million Dollar Baby. Ryan talks about his cousin, Mufasa, who happens to have the same story as The Lion King. Finally, Kevin ruins the game with his story about his Uncle Bernie dying and he and his best friend’s attempt to pretend that his uncle is still alive (Weekend at Bernie’s). I find it funny that Stanley has never participated in any of these games.

Toby, being the thorn in Michael’s side, tries to help Michael by talking about a bird that slammed into the glass at the front of the building. Of course, this only makes Michael try to save the bird by sticking it (and its germs/bacteria) into his ear to see if it’s alive.

Michael forces everyone to attend a bird funeral much like Dr. Huxtable in the episode where Rudy’s fish Lamont dies in The Cosby Show. I’m positive that Michael only wanted the funeral so that the people at the office would have one just like this if he were to die. Notice Kelly hugging Ryan (note his expression) in the above picture…lal.

Starting off, we see that it’s Movie Monday. This might be the first time that we’ve seen the people at the office on a Monday. It seems like there are a lot of episodes that take place on a Friday. Personally, I’d enjoy a Movie Monday, but at the Scranton branch, only Michael and Kevin really like it. Dwight seems to only tolerate it and becomes upset when Kevin gets to do the weekly recap. On the opposite end, Angela doesn’t even go into the conference room. Then, in comes Jan. When Michael tries to justify his reasoning for Movie Monday, he says that people work faster…but only because they have to make up for the lost time from watching the movie (lal!).

Afterwards, Angela, fearing for her employment, makes Dwight go to Jan and make her give the branch to him instead of Michael. Much like Dwight’s physical performance right before he demands a raise in “Performance Review,” Dwight psychs himself up in the parking lot by running from end-to-end.

For some reason, Dwight meets Jan at a diner/pancake house (probably IHOP) to discuss his takeover. He also tells Jan that there’s a new Ann Taylor outlet store nearby for some reason.

“Call of Duty!!!” What started out as a team-building exercise in Stamford has become what seems to be a daily event–Call of Duty LAN games. I wish I could do this at my work. The only thing is that we are only equipped with those ATI RAGE XL video cards. Why they have gamer cards able to play CoD2 (I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t showcase CoD1), I have no idea.

So it’s Josh, Andy, and Jim against Karen and some other generic office workers. Of course, since Jim never plays any computer games he stinks and doesn’t know how to turn around and uses a sniper rifle in mp_carentan, much to his team’s dismay.

Back in Scranton, Dwight has returned to the office but Michael knows about his meeting with Jan because of a phone call from her. He tricks Dwight, who claimed to have gotten an emergency crown put in at the dentist (Dr. Crentist…lal), into eating some peanut M&M’s and quickly examines his teeth. I’m not sure why Michael would want to see chewed up M&M’s in Dwight’s mouth. Sounds disgusting. Disgusting*2 because it’s Dwight.

Once Dwight begins to take advantage of his fake promotion and insults Michael’s Chrysler Sebring convertible, Michael lays The Smackdownâ„¢ on Dwight. As a result, he cries and Michael makes him hug it out and do his laundry for a year.

We start off with Michael in his office preparing for the convention. Items include: 3 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of socks, “fun jeans”, per diem, and 3 packs of condoms (”yeshhh…”). Dwight seems to only pack a neck pillow. On their way out, they ask Pam if she wants to give Jim a message. The message ends up being “um.” Um, um um um um bum bum-bum-bum!

In the break room, Creed tries to get a “Benjamin” aka “sheckles” from Angela (or as he calls her, “Andrea”). After insulting her, he eats her cereal and introduces himself to Meredith. LOL. What is the deal with Creed anyway? It’s like he’s been there for years. No one knows who he is and he doesn’t know who anyone else is.

Just after that, Kevin, talking about Pam’s availability, tells Toby that “so hit that” (soooo inappropriate!). What’s kinda weird is that later on, Toby, the by-the-book HR guy, almost asks her out. It seemed out of character to me.

Back at the convention again, we see Michael trying to recruit people, including Jerome Bettis, a BlackBerry, and a Hammermill rep, for his booze party (room 308). I want one of those Microsoft Office 2003 cabana shirts. In terms of the whole convention, I really liked how they had real companies there with real SWAG. Another thing I noticed later on, though, was that Michael has a standard clam-shell cell phone (doesn’t have email), but in season 2 he calls Ryan with a Treo (has email). He should have brought the Treo to show off to Josh. I think Jack Bauer has a Treo in season 5 (”Day 5″) too.

Back in Scranton, we get to see Pam’s double date with Kelly and Ryan. Ryan always looks so uncomfortable. Even more so than usual when he’s around Kelly. I think it may be because he only wears blue shirts and white shirts. “He loves ketchup.”

At the end, we see Michael sitting by himself in a room with blasting techno music, black lights, and strobe lights. Pretty sad. But at least now he thinks that he’s “best friends” with Jim.

The first thing we learn is that Ryan has now taken Jim’s position (and desk) as “junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm.” I found this kind of odd because he seemed to be doing tech support (like installing file share on all the computers). He also had an iBook. Salespeople are not allowed to have those!

Jim “Big Tuna” Halpert, in the meantime, has taken a higher sales position at the Stamford branch in Connecticut–complete with a nice view and a new more serious, less funny Dwight-like sales buddy named Andy.

The next major thing we learn is that Pam bailed out of her wedding just days before it was supposed to happen. On the bright side, she (and Roy I assume) have five weeks worth of frozen leftovers (since she couldn’t return it). I’m not sure how she would store that much food though. On to the episode’s storyline…

Michael finds out from Toby that Oscar is gay after Oscar tells Michael that Shakespeare in Love is a better movie than Die Hard. After apologizing (after all, you don’t call retarded people “retards”…it’s bad taste), Michael ends up spilling the beans to the entire office.

Some funny character reactions to hearing of the news:

• Kevin: LOL
• Angela: “It explains so much.”
• Dwight: “Absolutely not. He’s not dressed in women’s clothes so…”
• Kelly: “It is so cool that you’re gay. I totally underestimated you.”
• Jan: *smile* *wave* Generic yelling at Michael.
• Creed: “I’m not offended by homosexuality. In the sixties, I made love to many, many women. Often outdoors, in the mud and the rain, and it’s possible a man slipped in. Would be no way of knowing.”
• Oscar: “No, I’m not gay.”

In Stamford, Jim plays the Jell-O joke on Andy. Unfortunately, Andy takes it much more seriously than Dwight and says he is going to lose his “freakin’ mind.”

Back in Scranton, Michael gathers the office workers to send the signal “Gay Good.” As a result, he kisses Oscar (eww!) to show that he is comfortable around gays. Dwight’s reaction: “Michael appears to be gay, too. And yet he is my friend. I guess I do have a gay friend.”

In a final effort to discover gays, Dwight uses his Gaydarâ„¢ (sent to him by Jim), supposedly from Sharper Image.